Naughty Curry

MANGOES and RUM: Ignite For Fun

     "Listen up and tell me if this sounds good," I told Trobee. " I have an email here from a chef who works at a martini bar in Portland, Oregon. Chris Rames, his name is. Ready? OK." I turned to the e-mail and began to read. "It's his recipe for Pineapple Madagascar. Picture it. Pineapple cut into five big chunks. He then rolls the pineapple pieces in -- get this --green peppercorns!"

          "Green peppercorns?"

          "Oh yes. Then, he takes those peppercorned pieces and rolls them in sugar."

          "Crazy!" Trobee murmured. "What next?"

           "Well, now he’s got some butter melting in a pan."

           "Ohhh."

           "He takes the coated fruit chunks, and sizzles them up in the butter. He cooks them till they are golden brown on all sides. Are you with me?"

            She was.

            "And when they’re all lovely and ready and glistening, he removes them ever so gently and places them on a plate. Now comes the interesting part. He gets out some rum…"

        "Rum!?!"

             "Yes. Rum. And he deglazes the pan with it. Haha! I love what he says here: ‘Ignite for fun!’... That would be fun. Too bad you’re accident-prone."

              "Yeah no shit, huh? Now what?"

              "Ok, so now a warm syrup is made with the rum and fresh orange juice. I'm not done. Chris gets out a naked scoop of vanilla ice-cream –"

              "Ice-cream! No way!"

              "--and he serves the coated fruit and the piping-hot syrup with the cold cold ice-cream. Now. Doesn’t that just... light your fire?"

             She was lit. "Lets do it!"

           "Oh we will. But we’re going to try this with a mango. We’ll just try it out and see what happens."

RECIPE B-R-E-A-K-D-O-W-N

"So what’s the difference between green peppercorns and black peppercorns? I forgot."

"Green peppercorns are, like, an unknown legend in their time. I don’t know why they’re not more popular. You know how fruit is green when it’s not yet ripe? The same with these guys. They are picked when they are not yet ripe so they are much milder then black and have a separate wisp of herbal-fruity flavor. It’s very cool. I don’t see them much in Indian recipes either, but they are grown in India as well as Madagascar--"

"So you're supposed to coat them...." Trobee muttered."Peppercorns and fruit. l don't know, Court."

"Green peppercorns," I corrected. I couldn't imagine it either, but it really had me curious. It's not often I come across a recipe that features green peppercorns.

*     *     *

Chris calls for unsalted butter in the recipe. (Ghee could also be used with the same effect.) Butter that is 'unsalted' is able to fry longer without burning, but since it didn't have to fry for long anyway, I wondered if regular butter could be used. This may seem like fussy dithering to those with an everready supply of ghee, but many folks would have to specifically go out and buy a package of unsalted butter just for a couple of tablespoons.

So of course the NC has done it both ways, beginning with regular butter.

"Regular butter works just fine!" Trobee proudly declared from the stove. "Doesn't burn or nothin'!"

But later, after she had cooked up the recipe several times, having tried it both ways: "Tell Our People to use ghee or 'unsalted butter' if they've got it --it's way easier and faster. Butter works okay,though, if that's all they have."

*     *     *

"Now, Trobee... don't grind these peppercorns into a powder. Or even flakes. Just crush `em open. They should still be chunky." Retain most of their spherical shape.

"Huh?"

"Think of them like little flavor-capsules. We want them to release their good stuff into our food, so we've got to--"

"No, no, I know all that. So why not just coarse-grind the pepper?" Like usual. With our pepper mill. Why bother doing anything else with the spice Trobee has been intimate with for years and years.

"It's an effect we want, I'm thinking. A crunchy burst--"

"Ok, so how? Do I have to use that pisto...pesto..."

"You could use the mortar and pestle...if you can find it. Or you can just do the pulse-stop pulse-stop thing with the coffee grinder." Less control over the grindage, but faster and easier.

"So.. a coarse-grind then."

"Ah, no. I think we want more here from our peppercorns. We want some chunkage."

Trobee shrugged. "Ok..."

*     *     *

Before long, it was showtime. The coated mango pieces were glistening, and ready to go. The vanilla ice cream practically quivered in anticipation.

"Ok, here goes..." The mango pieces were arranged on the ice cream, the heated rum syrup was drizzled on top. We were dazzled.

"Wow, look at that."

"I want a bite. Bite. Bite. Now." She brought over the celestial dessert.

I closed my eyes, not certain what to expect.

"Now that...is almost erotic," said I. Mamma-mia.

Trobee took a taste. And a few others. "Oh my god, Courty! That's out of control! That...crunchy heat... with the slippery-smooth frozenness..."

There were others lurking about in the NC Kitchen that day. The dessert was quickly seized upon -- with declarations of appreciation.

photos by Trina and Trobee

graphic by Mo Digital

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Mango Madagascar

• 1 semi-firm mango, peeled and chopped into 1-inch cubes
• 1 Tb green peppercorns, crushed open (Trina uses 2 tsp)
• 3 Tb sugar
• 1 Tb butter
• 1 Tb white rum (we used a mini-bottle)
• 2 Tb freshly squeezed orange juice
• vanilla ice cream

1. Roll the mango cubes in the crushed green peppercorns, followed by the sugar.
2. In a medium skillet, melt the butter and place the mango cubes in the pan. Let the cubes fry until they are golden-brown.
3. Remove the mango pieces from the pan (use tongs if you have em) and set them aside. In the same pan, add the rum and orange juice and let it simmer until the liquid forms a syrup consistency.
4. Place a scoop of ice cream in a small dish. Top it with the mango pieces and the syrup.

* Trobee likes her mangoes on the tart n' tangy side for this recipe. She chose mangoes that were almost-ripe, with patches of green -- just soft enough to slice into.

*     *     *

~Original recipe~

Pineapple Madagascar

Chris Rames: "This recipe is one of my personal favourites.  I am a Chef in Portland, Oregon.  I use this recipes in my kitchen at Olive or Twist." 

one serving,  Feeds two.

Ingredients

5   Large chunks fresh pineapple,  1 cubic inch each, at least
1   Tablespoon crushed green peppercorns
3   Tablespoons sugar
2   Tablespoons unsalted butter
1   Tablespoon white rum
2   Tablespoons orange juice, fresh squeezed and un-pastuerised is best
1   Scoop vanilla ice cream

Method:

Melt butter in saute pan at med heat.

Roll all 5 chunks of Pineapple in the green eppercorns.  Once all side are coated roll the chunks in the sugar until all sides are coated.

Place the coated chunks in the butter and cook unitl soft and golden brown on all sides.

Remove chunks from pan with tongs, and place on plate.

Deglaze pan with rum, Ignite for fun.

Add orange juice.  Reduce to desired syrup consistansy.

Place Ice cream scoop in seperate ramekin.  Place ramekin of ice cream on plate across from Pineapple .

Garnish;

Pour the sauce over the pineapple chunks.

Place two of the small inner leaves of the Pineapple in the dish with the ice cream.

Enjoy.

This recipe uses about 1/4 of a fresh pineapple.

~ Chef Chris Rames,  GCR

BUT WAIT...

"We’re not done with this one yet, Trobee," said I.

"We’re not?"

"Oh, no. These spicy little mango pieces deserve to be played around with a bit. Now I'm thinking that this dessert would be too strong for our Trina [I was right]. But how about this? Wouldn’t these coated mango pieces be really cool in a rice dish?"

Trobee shrugged.

Well I wanted to try it. I wanted a simply-spiced rice dish, and then fold in these coated mango chunks. It just might be good. Maybe. I put Trina on the project.

So when it was Trina's turn...

"Court, these mangoes are rock hard and it's all they had at the store! What do we do?"

"No worries. We'll make them on Monday -- just put `em in a paper bag to speed up the ripening." They were perfectly ripe when we removed them.

"Wow. Y' know I never knew that 'Paper Bag Trick' before I started cooking here. I tried it out with my avocados last week, and it worked!"

*     *     *

It took several tries before the 'right rice' came along.. And when it did...

"Trina, my love. This is absolutely outstanding! I mean. I figured it would be good, but this...."

Rave reviews from the doubting Trobee. I myself was so addicted to Mango Madagascar Rice, I made it three times in two weeks.  

photo by Trobee

---

Mango Madagascar Rice

• 1 cup rice
• 1 tsp oil
• 1/2 tsp garlic paste or minced garlic
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• 2 cups chicken or vegetable broth (water is OK, too)
• 1/4 tsp ginger powder
• 1/4 tsp salt, optional
• One recipe of Mango Madagascar (mangoes only w/o ice cream)

Masala:

• 3 whole cloves
• 2 green cardamom pods, bonked open
• 1 inch cinnamon stick
• 1 bay leaf

1. In a medium skillet, heat the oil until it is sizzle-hot. Add the masala and saute for about 30 seconds. Add the garlic paste and cook until it turns light brown.
2. Add the rice, salt, turmeric, and ginger powder and sauté for 1-2 minutes. Add the broth or water and bring it to a boil, cover, and reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes or until the rice is cooked through.
3. Add the mango pieces to the cooked rice followed by the syrup. Done.

*     *     *

We’re always scouting about for funky picnic items. Our most favorite Neighbor Lady brought us her mini-fruit pizzas to try. We gobbled up the lovely yummy things. Lightbulb moment.

"What if…?"

photo by Trobee

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Mini-Fruit Pizzas (starring Mango Madagascar)

• one package of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough (18 oz.)
• 1/2 cup cream cheese (we use 'whipped' or 'light')
• 1/2 cup Cool Whip
• 1/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1 recipe of Mango Madagascar (without the ice cream)
• some assorted fresh fruit (We use strawberry slices and blueberries)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
2. Open the Pillsbury cookie dough package. With a butter knife, cut 1/2-inch slices down the roll as the package directs. Arrange the slices on a greased baking sheet. Bake for 8-12 minutes, or until they get golden brown.
3. In a bowl, combine the cream cheese, Cool Whip, and powdered sugar. It should get nice and fluffy.
4. While the cookies are cooling down from the oven, prepare the fruit for the topping. Generously spread the cream cheese mixture on the cookies. Top with the fruit. Chill for at least 15 minutes before serving. Done.

UPDATE: No butter?

I was shown your site by my friend Autumn a while back—you folks provided her with “Autumn’s Awesome Anytime Curry” a few months ago (which I have tried and loved). I put together the Madagascar recipe last night, and was thrilled, so thank you! I love both pineapple and mango, so I went ahead and used both in mine attempt. Sadly, I forgot the butter, but the fruit caramelized a bit, and was lovely. I made extra, so I will reheat it tonight and see how it is. And next time, I’ll use the butter.

~Cheers, Alex

The Naughtiest Little Curry Cracker

     We are about to reveal one of our dirty little secrets right now, just for you-- the secret spice formula for one of our very favorite snacks of all time.

          Let me tell you, Friends: Over the past few years, these quick n' easy, zippy-zesty snacky crackers have been in lusty demand by countless acquaintances, friends, family, strangers..... We manufacture them from time to time, often in enormous quantities. We never have leftovers.

          Officially entitled 'Masala-Ranch Oyster Crackers' -- we call em' Oysterz for short -- these lil' beauties be snappy, sassy, zesty, zippy, power-packed with surges of pleasurable spicing synergy. Although Oysterz don't need to be spicy-hot (Trina shamelessly ditches the prescribed cayenne), if you happen to be a 'hint of spice' kind of person, they are not for you.

           Oysterz are the sort of snack that makes friends. That being said, people have been known to sneakily stash them from plain view like captive spice-jewels. . . and not share any! (Yes, Jeremy, we know all about it!)

           And now the 'dirty secret' part -- Oysterz take, like, ten minutes to create. And it's soooo easy, we don't tell people how we do it. (e.g. "HOW can I make these for myself at home?" "Um, well, it's complicated...Hey, is that Gary Coleman over there?")

            Then we laugh to ourselves (inwardly) a la Woody Woodpecker.

Oysterz function superbly for:

• camping
• at the beach or under the boardwalk
• road tripping
• real-life Pac-Man re-enactments
• potlucks, parties, and picnics
• barbecues, after-bars, and bar mitvahs
• outdoor music concerts
• indoor/outdoor sports events ('Coach Tro' tells me, anyway)
• Poker/Texas Hold Em' tournaments
• bribing, blackmail, extortion, and the like
• sinus-clearing (for best results, try Trobee's Version, using 2 tablespoons of Kashmiri chili powder for the cayenne)
• whenever you are seized by The Munchies (You know what I'm talking about, yes you do!)

          Still with us? Well, well, then. Let's go.

R-E-C-I-P-E  B-R-E-A-K-D-O-W-N

It was a rare moment -- Trobee of the NC was simmering with spice insecurity.

"I just don't get why Trina's oyster crackers are so much better than mine every time lately," she whined.

I shrugged. Reading about Bob Dylan in the Rolling Stone. Busy.

Ok, Ok. (So much for Bob.) I had noticed this phenomenon myself: Trobee's oyster crackers were much...less flavorful than Trina's . Even though Trina and Trobee used the exact same spices (we carefully checked) for the no-brainer Oyster Crackers recipe, Trina's resulting munchies were fabulous and amazing, while Trobee's were only 'really good'.

The truth came out within five minutes.

The difference in the resulting flavor-effects was in the technique.

Trina had roasted the masala first (1/2 tsp cumin seeds, 1 tsp coriander seeds and 1/2 tsp asafetida). As soon as the spices had darkened a few shades and began to release their aroma, she'd dumped them into the coffee grinder, whizzed it into a powder, and mixed it into the oil seasoning. Like the recipe said.

Trobee, on the other hand, had been using cumin and coriander powders, adding them directly into the oil. No roasting. Like, seriously.

"That's it," I told her. "You're fired."

"I knew that!" she said." I knew it. I just... forgot..."

photos by Trobee

graphic by Mo Digital

---

Masala-Ranch Oyster Crackers

• 1 package plain oyster crackers (10 oz.)
• 1 packet Hidden Valley Ranch 'Salad Dressing' dry seasoning
• ½ cup oil (sorry, less won’t work)
• 1-3 tsp cayenne (Trina uses none, Trobee tends to use more…)
• 1 tsp mango powder

Masala:

• 1 tsp coriander seeds
• ½ tsp cumin seeds
• ½ tsp asafetida

1. In a small skillet, dry roast the masala until the cumin seeds have darkened a few shades. Whizz to a powder in your coffee grinder. Set aside.
2. Get out a big bowl and a small bowl. In the big bowl, dump in the oyster crackers. In the small bowl, add the oil, ranch seasoning, cayenne, mango powder, and the ground masala. Whisk with a fork until seasonings are dissolved.
3. Pour the oil mixture over the oyster crackers and mix well so the crackers are coated evenly. (We use a rubber spatula)
4. Cover the bowl with cling wrap and wait about ten minutes for the little dudes to suck it up. Ready…set…chow!

UPDATE: We were greatly entertained by the spicy, sassy words from Sue of 'Ma Cooks'. Check out her post on Oysterz... 

"... And with this recipe, I got more quality and quantity for way less cash, with ten minutes of labor (if you can call it that, you mostly pour and stir). How cool is that? These would be a unique contribution to social events, if I can ever make them last long enough to get there. However, I would feel it my duty to warn my Minnesota friends that these mild mannered looking snacks are NOT for the tender palated. (Which means we don’t have to share with JL! Yippee!)

They can be made without the cayenne, but what I love! love! love! about them is that first you get a rapid succession of flavor bursts from the masala mix: salty, sour, savory then a tiny bit of quiet with the bland cracker underneath, then the sour grabs your tongue again and just when you are going whoaaaa, dude! (I am 47 years old and these things make me say dude) THEN you get the after-burn from the cayenne– which compels you to take a swig of your favorite carbonated beverage, rinse and repeat.

I did make one substitution: Mango powder, made from dried green mangos, is hard to find here. Even our Indian grocer looked at me like I was from another country (he does that alot) when I asked for it. Maybe I wasn’t using the right name. But we do have sour salt in the house, which is dried concentrated citrus; thus contributing mango powder’s souring effect, without simultaneously increasing liquid content. Besides, I can’t really imagine anyone taking a bite and asking “Hey, where’s the mango powder?” They’ll be too busy either calling 911 or sitting back and enjoying the psychodelicious tongue trip.

Dude. "