Makin' BACON Go Bang-Bang!

     "Oh Courty! I lost my Harley Davidson pin!" Trobee wailed as she staggered into the NC kitchen this week, shoulders slumping. She let loose a wavering moan.

          "Oh no, Tro. Not the Harley!"

          She nodded and showed me the prized purse that was now denuded of its crowning glory. Luckily, Mo Digital was in the house and now on the case. She helped Trobee to retrace her steps, all of which led to the club she was at last night.

         "I will find it!" declared Mo, and she was out the door. (We would later hear of her surreal scavenging misadventures.)

          Hence, an NC session was suddenly possible. Thanks Mo.

          Trobee bounced over, her tragedy temporarily forgotten."Oh Courty! Wait til you hear this! I saw these and I thought, effin-A! Court and I could go nuts with this idea: bacon, cream cheese, and...jalapenos!"

          "Hm," I said and nodded to be polite.

          "Yeah, like, my Aunt Sue has these beautiful jalapenos in the freezer. She just slices em up real nice. Then she puts cream cheese on a strip of bacon, plops on a jalapeno slice, rolls it up tight, and bakes em..."

           Roll. How I like that word. Rrrolll. Rrrrrrolllll.

          "...and I thought we could play around with some of our spices on them bad boys," she said. "MMM!! So what do you think?"

          Would I take on the red meat challenge? Was I willing to stain my almost-vegetarian reputation?

          "Rock n' roll," I said. To hell with reputations.

          "Yesssssss!"

RECIPE B-R-E-A-K-D-O-W-N

But gosh. I had never spiced up bacon before.

Twas' a good time to pass the buck: "This is your baby," I told Trobee. "Your idea. You play with it. Although...with bacon, I think I'd want a bit o' clove in there..."

She smiled like a kindergarten teacher. "I think so too."

"Oh do you?"

"Mmhm."

*      *      *

"Wow, I didn't realize bacon would roll up so easily. Damn. And it all sticks together real nice!"

"Neat."

"This whole recipe is freakin' easy!"

*      *       *

Curry leaves: "So, if I had dried leaves instead of fresh ones like we use, could I use the same amount?"

"You know,"I told her, "that's a really good question. Cookbooks usually don't specify, but I would add, like, a third more if I were using dried leaves. In fact, Ruthie and I once did our own experiment using plain rice to figure that one out ."

*     *     *

Soon, they were...done. "Ha!" said Trobee. "Smell these bitches."

She brought over a tray of steaming bundles of bacon that aroused even my repressed carnivore instincts. I felt my teeth elongate and get pointier. I closed my eyes and sank my teeth into one of them. I sat back in my chair, then uttered three words: "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa."

"You likes?" she smirked.

"Brilliant, Tro. You rock." I gave her a high five. "Wait `til all the guys get ahold of these." She mentioned Super Bowl Sunday...

After cooking up three batches just this week, all of which were fiendishly devoured, the spicing was perfected.

photos by Mo Digital

Click here to see Crockpot Curry Cocktail Weenies!

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Trobee's Bang-Bang Bacon Bitches

          These succulent beauties have been tested on riotous gatherings of poker-playing barbarians as well as crowded family-type get-togethers. In each case, they were quickly gobbled up. Indeed, these mighty meaty bundles invoke grunts of pleasure, oohs, aahs and mmmms.

          They can be prepared and stored in the fridge, so that when it's time to party, they can go right in the oven.

• 8 strips of bacon (we used thick slices)
• 3-4 Tb light cream cheese
• 8 jalapeno rings (Trobee sneaks in more of these. I've caught her!)
• salt and pepper

Masala:

• 4 curry leaves
• 2 tsp coriander seeds
• 1 tsp cumin seeds
• 1/2 tsp asafetida
• 1 or 2 whole cloves

1. Pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees.
2. In a small skillet, heat a dab of oil until it is sizzle-hot. Add the masala and saute until the cumin seeds have darkened a few shades.
3. Now dump the masala in your coffee grinder and whizz it into a powder. Add it to the cream cheese along with salt and pepper, and mix it well.
4. Place a small glob of the cream cheese mixture onto a bacon strip. Place a jalapeno on top. Roll tightly and repeat with the rest.
5. Arrange them on a cookie sheet and bake for 30 minutes. Done.

UPDATE (Feb 7, 2006):

Check out what Kit of 'Mango and Ginger' had to say about the BANG-BANG experience in her follow-up post...

"Banging with Bacon~ I had to do a tiny bit of adjusting to make the recipe work in my kitchen. For one thing, I don't have a coffee or spice grinder (but after this experience, I'm totally getting one or the other). Also, apparently there are no Indian groceries anywhere near my house. The internet lied to me on this one, too, and told me that the Asian grocery about 15 minutes from my house carried Indian products. Apparently that is not the case, however, so I was stuck without a couple of ingredients (there are a couple of other Indian groceries in Baltimore, but I didn't leave myself time to get to any of them.)

So here's what I did: instead of asefetida, I used garlic powder. And instead of curry leaves, I used curry powder. And instead of a coffee grinder, I used my mortar and pestle to grind the spices, handing the job off to Cooper about halfway through (it's tiring), and my Cuisinart to mix the masala with the cream cheese.

Besides the grinding, the recipe was super easy - and totally worth it, even with my substitutions. These bitches are delicious and were a huge hit at the party. They're salty and spicy hot and savory Indian spicy. It's a good combination.

And a good introduction to the world of the Naughty Curry. Next time, I'll make something harder. And next time, I'll do my best to actually make it to an Indian grocery."